opera summer 2017, #4

I actually have days off this week!  It's a miracle!  (no, Emily, it's just balancing out from last week.)  This is great, because I have a duet to work on that is definitely in the crunch-time category ... and also need to be off-book on the Mozart by Sunday ... y'know, no big.

Day 7, part 2 (Saturday afternoon, Suor): This was a focused session with myself and Sister Angelica, playing with and fine-tuning the scene where I announce the carriage has arrived and Angelica freaks out just a little bit.  (A lot.  But quietly!)  So we ran the scene  - which is ... four pages of music?  maybe a little more?  my score's in my office and I can't be bothered to move - something like a dozen times, starting with the rough staging and character decisions we'd worked out in the larger rehearsals, then narrowing our choices down, talking about what's being communicated and what isn't and how to tweak that, trying different choices, etc.  Do I clue into how high the stakes are for Angelica?  If so, when?  And when does Angelica really realize this might be her family?  How do I react to Angelica getting right up in my face, asking about the inside of the carriage (which I have no way of knowing about)?  How does Angelica react when she doesn't get the information she wants - and when she drives me away?  Repeating the scene with all these minor changes not only helps us feel what's right for our interpretations of the characters, but also what feels right with the music - and, of course, solidifies our synchronicity with the music.

Day 8 (Sunday evening, Idomeneo): Another run-through of all the chorus numbers.  We had both the bass and soprano soloists this week, so the quartet sections went much better this time, and everyone was tighter in general.  After we worked on the music for about an hour and a half, we took a short break, then got into staging.  The area we'll be playing this in isn't a typical auditorium or hall space: we're working with an open-concept rock garden sort of idea, and we'll all basically be on stage at all times (or at least visible to the audience at all times).  This makes it awfully hard to tape out on the floor of our staging building, for one, and also means that it's really hard to actually know where we'll be at any given time.  The staging will, be necessity, be loose.  I'm okay with this: as long as we have clear intentions, the movement should follow.  It is a little nerve-wracking though.  We also talked about setting and costuming.  The director is moving the story forward to near-present day Greece, bringing to mind the refugee crises in the area today.  This is going to be very interesting ... 

Tonight we have another full run of Suor followed by some more scene work.  Four hour rehearsal instead of three.  Today, I'm working on getting the Mozart off-book and also solidifying the Gounod duet.  

opera summer 2017, #3

Time sure flies when you have rehearsal every night.  zzzz .... 

Since last I wrote, I've had ... four rehearsals.  I think.  (coming back after writing: yes, four.)

Day 4 (Wednesday evening, Suor): staging the finale.  We have a short entrance and exit - most of us go out to the cemetery a little earlier in the show, so now we come back in, notice Sister Angelica is having A Moment, and we reassure her that her prayers are being heard and then we go offstage to bed.  (Actually we go offstage, sing a little bit, and then run around the outside of the church to go be angels at the back.  But there's 10 pages of music in between, so it's more of a relaxed saunter.  In nun habits.  In downtown Winnipeg.  We're gonna giggle the whole time.)  Then we have the lovely challenge of singing from the back of a church with the orchestra and soloist at the front of the church.  It's already a pain in the church we're staging in, but at least we have the ability to be as far back as we will be on the actual set - the building is shaped differently, so it doesn't quite give us the real deal, but it's a good exercise in watch the conductor's hands, don't use your ears.  It's really hard.  But we'll do it.

Day 5 (Thursday evening, Idomeneo): ahahahahahaha this was such a train wreck in so many places for me.  I knew some of the chorus numbers better than others, sure, but I definitely thought I had more of it down than I proved to.  I wasn't the only one.  It seems to be a bit of a theme - the first time you run Mozart chorus pieces, literally everything falls apart at the seams, we laugh at ourselves for a couple minutes, and then we run it again a couple times and it makes much more sense.  (The one-to-a-part quartet stuff I'm doing was 500% a train wreck ... partially because we were missing the soprano and the bass, partially because of the Mozart effect, and just partially because I need to learn my part better.)  On the plus side, though, once we all got our shit together we sound quite good.  The blend is nice.  We're gonna sound even better once we sing all the right pitches - and the right words.  Mozart scores are hell, especially the less-popular ones.  There are five million editions and a bunch of them have German overtop of the Italian in the score (a lot of German opera houses don't do operas in Italian; they do them in translation, in German - and guess where Mozart was from ... ), and the Italian in italics (ha) and often smaller text, and it's just a pain.  Does that read "ci"? "ei"? "vi"?  who the fuck knows.  (we do, now that we've gone through all the numbers and agreed on everything.)

Day 6 (Friday evening, Suor): first stumble-through!  Still no last principal, so we skipped the bit in the middle, but we successfully made it to the end of the opera without any derailments so massive we actually had to stop.  So that was good.  I personally completely effed up a couple things, but on the other hand a few things I'd been fighting with went off without a hitch, so I was happy with it.  Then I went home to bed.  

Day 7 (Saturday morning, Suor): we are now in the finessing stage.  We have the basic skeleton of the staging down (with the obvious exception of the section in the middle), so now we're going through scenes several times over and fixing what doesn't feel right, working out details, and above all paying close attention to text.  Everyone is 90-95% off book now, so we can focus on where we're going and where we're actually looking - who are we talking to? what are we talking about?  We got the note last night that we need to remember how we know things ... i.e., we know things because we saw them.  You can't relay information without first having that information, and that's a really easy thing to forget when you're on stage and you, as an actor, already know the show.  You know what has already happened, and what's going to happen because of it.  But you, as a character, do not know what's going to happen - and you don't know what's already happened to anyone but yourself (if you haven't already seen it).  I have to remember that I saw the carriage outside before I can ask about it, and I don't know already that this carriage is Sister Angelica's aunt.  It's not Big News for me - it's just a curiosity.  Don't give away the plot before it happens!  The audience wants to participate in a story, not a lecture.

I'm on a short break right now before going back for more specific one-on-one work later this afternoon.  I think I'm going to have a nap ... 

opera summer 2017, #2

I realized at some point since I posted last that I forgot to mention a super important part of score study: markings.  Tempo, dynamics, articulations, all that.  (The reason I forgot is because this is still the bit I don't do nearly enough.)  This is another reason to watch/listen to performances, because some of these things ... aren't actually written in.  They're just done that way.  Some scores, what you see is what you get; some scores, there's a whole slough of performance practice things that aren't written in, and you gotta find out or else you're gonna look a little dumb.  (If you're a newbie you don't usually get in much trouble, but you better fix it fast.)  This also applies to how much rit. you do in this particular measure, or how much freedom you get in this specific col canto, or how long this tenuto is, etc etc etc.  This is especially true for composers like Puccini.  You gotta listen, man.  You gotta.

Anyway.  Since last I wrote I had one more rehearsal...

Day 3 (Tuesday, Suor Angelica): picked up where we left off, staging the scene where I announce a fancy-ass coach is outside the gate, and everyone gets their knickers in a twist wondering who it might be.  Straight-forward staging.  We also reworked the opening scene and one other, since we had a singer drop out for health reasons (and also reworking things is important for us to remember them).  We got some notes on how to sound more like an angelic choir in the first scene (clean, early cutoffs, prep your vowels early, as much breath support as possible, be gentle with articulators bc there's a dozen sopranos singing more or less in unison and if we're not gentle we'll blow everyone away whether we try to or not), and I worked with the vocal coach on my solo lines (figuring out how to get my open o's after w-glides into my soft palate, 'cause right now they're slipping back into my throat and sounding old - one of those things that sounds good in my ears when I'm singing it, but doesn't translate well - also cleaning up a couple entrances and making sure of doubled consonants).

Tonight we are moving forward to the end of the opera, because our remaining principal still isn't in town.  So: finale chorus stuff.  I need to look over the page numbers and make sure I know what I'm doing - I marked one divisi part down wrong in my score so I need to go over what I'm actually supposed to be singing.  Then tomorrow night I start rehearsal for the other opera I'm working on, Idomeneo - and I need to look at all that again today too, as well as a stand-in solo bit that the music director asked me to do yesterday.  That'll be fun.

opera summer 2017, #1

A couple of people in my life have asked what exactly it is I do when I'm 'at rehearsal' ... and it's a fair question.  I never really realised just how mysterious opera is - just 'cause I'm in the middle of it, I guess.

Prior to day one of rehearsals... I got my scores a couple months ago, and began learning my parts.  I don't have a lot to sing in the operas I'm doing this summer - I'm not doing a major role - so the process isn't quite as long and involved as it is for some of my friends.  For me, the process was:

• read up on the opera - what's the plot, who are the characters, who am I? also, when was it written, anything interesting happening for the composer at the time, was it written for anyone in specific...
• read through the libretto - get a better sense of the nuances of the story/characters (also: are there any stage directions included?)
• watch a production (if any exist - if not, listen to a recording) - mainly to get a sense for the orchestration
• translate my scenes (presuming the opera isn't in English, which is usually the case) - it's great to have a couple of complete translations on hand, but it's a good idea to translate your own lines (and the people you're talking to/with) yourself so you know what each of the words you say mean ... translation's tricky because language is tricky, you gotta have as much information as you can
• write my lines out phonetically - you gotta sound like you know what you're talking about in more ways than one ... Nico Castell's books are a really great resource for this, especially for checking what's academically correct versus what's typically done.  diction often gets tweaked to make words more intelligible, easier to sing, more impactful, but that's later in the rehearsal/coaching process.
• usually by this point I remember more or less what I'm saying when, but if not the next step is getting comfortable enough with just the text that I remember.  repetition of the text both in the original language and in a comprehensible English translation of my own.  this is the remember-the-thoughts step.
• start adding the music.  I do more repetition of the text in the contour of the line, but not precisely on pitch, to match the verbal thought with the musical thought.  eventually you add the actual pitches and rhythms.
• if I were working on a role, I'd book sessions with a vocal coach where we'd work on putting the whole thing together, especially working on any arias.  looking at effective characterisation, starting to find those spots to tweak diction, looking at places to tweak technique.  since I only have small solo parts, there's time in the rehearsal process to get notes from the vocal coach and work them in then.  (I am doing a duet which I'll do some coaching on, though, over the next couple weeks.)

Once all that is done I'm ready to move into the rehearsal process!  :D

Day 1 (Saturday, Suor Angelica): we started with a sing-through of the whole opera, stopping and fixing spots that didn't quite work for one reason or another.  (also the place to double-check any divided sections for chorus parts.)  Since Suor Angelica is only about an hour long, we sang through the whole thing, got some general notes on diction and technique from the vocal coach, and then took a short break.  After the break, the director walked us through where things would be on the set and talked to us a bit about the ideas she had for the production.  Then we started staging the first scene.  This basically means we go where the director tells us to, and we run the scene several times to make sure the spacing/timing works and everyone knows where they're supposed to go.  After this first session (2pm to 5pm) I was released - turned out I wasn't needed for the second rehearsal (7pm to 10pm), where they were staging the second scene.

Day 2 (Sunday, Suor again): yesterday evening we had one rehearsal, 7pm to 10pm again.  We staged the next three scenes; I was in the last scene.  Again we started with a sing-through and had more detailed notes/fixing time.  While the chorus and a couple of the principals worked on staging the first scene for the day, I and another smaller role went off with the vocal coach to get some specific notes on our scenes, which were the second and third scenes to be done.  Then they staged the second scene, and then my scene.  I already have stand-in props for my scene (I bring in a crate of food), which is cool: often you don't get props until pretty close to showtime.  Granted, they're not the actual props yet, but at least I have the crate and things to pick up, which really helps to get used to moving things around while I'm singing.  After we finished staging, we had more vocal notes, and then the evening was done.

Today I don't have rehearsal, it's a day off.  My job today is to go over the bits I had trouble with in the past couple days: there are a couple entrances I'm having trouble finding, and a couple notes that aren't as steady as I hoped.  Tomorrow we'll be staging the second scene I'm in, and probably a couple more that I'm not in ... and after that, all my work is chorus in this opera, so I might have another day off in between?  I know one of our leads isn't in Winnipeg yet, she was finishing another role elsewhere I believe, and I know she has a couple scenes that will need to be staged.  I don't know if we're going to jump ahead to the chorus-heavy scenes first and then loop back to her - it'll depend on when she arrives, obviously.  And rehearsals will start for the other opera I'm in next week, I believe (need to double-check).  

I'm going to update at least once every couple days - every morning, if I can.  I was thinking originally I'd vlog, but taking a while to write is easier for me than editing video, so unless I get inspired I think I'll stick with text.  I'll see if I can grab a couple pictures while I'm not actively staging, but phones are, ah, strongly discouraged in the rehearsal hall.  XD  

Christmas wishlist 2014

Hello friends!  I do a post like this once or twice a year, just in case anyone is looking for present ideas for me, so: Are you a gift-giving type?  Do I happen to be on your Christmas list?  Are you short on ideas?  Well look no further: here is my current list of things I am saving up for ...

These are not terribly expensive gifts, each costing about $25 before shipping from these retailers - and of course you could get them from a brick-and-mortar shop too:
The G. Schirmer Soprano Arias collection:
Opera Arias I
Opera Arias II
Oratorio Arias

Have some cash to drop?  These are pricier things, ranging from $50 to $200:
a Blue Yeti microphone
a set of any of the following headphones:
Audio-Technica ATH-M50s, Sennheiser 380 Pros, or AKG K44s

And that's pretty much it.  I'm also happy to accept food.  Because food is expensive.

Christmas wishlist 2012

Hi.

If you're reading this, I presume you're my friend.  If you're not, let's be friends.  :)  Also, if you haven't left after the title, I presume that you're curious about what sort of things I might be looking to acquire.  Usually, my Christmas lists are built over the course of the year, as I note things that make me think, "hm, I think I may buy that at some point when I have the disposable income to do so". I keep said list on my phone, so that when my birthday and Christmas roll around, I have something to tell people who say "you are impossible to find gifts for!"

So, if you are looking to give me a gift this Christmas, and are still lost in pondering what would be suitable, please take this list and use it as you may.  :)  And please remember that hugs (even Internet ones) and appreciation for my work and art are always appreciated - or just ask me out for coffee!  It's all good.

• The Art of Building Worlds (ISBN 9780857685629)
• Lunatic Heroes: Memories, Lies, and Reflections (ISBN 9780988230002)
• The Cole Protocol (ISBN 9780765354723)
• American Gods (ISBN 9780062059888)
• Ghosts of Onyx (ISBN 9780765354709)
• Quiet: The Power of Introverts (ISBN 9780307352149)
• The Thursday War (ISBN 9780765323941)
• other books that look interesting (I tend towards sci-fi, historical/realistic fiction, fantasy, mystery ... )
• Kanaya Maryam troll tee (women's large)
• Homestuck music - vol. 9, Symphony Impossible to Play, coloUrs and mayhem: Universe A, Song of Skaia, vol. 6
• That Dame is Bad News print
• a pastry cutter
• French rolling pin
• small gold hoop earrings (and they really do have to be gold as they will be staying in my ears indefinitely)
• this gorgeous crane gaiwan
• music books! my own set of Schubert editions would be lovely, you know, if you had several hundred dollars to drop.  :P 

So there you have it.  My cumulative list over 2012. Again - coffee and a chat is just as wonderful ...

Self-insertion and its quandaries

I have never conceived of my Shepard as myself.  Perhaps an extremely idealized version of myself in some ways - the “this is what I would choose if I were in this situation” mentality.  A lot of my personal traits crop up in my Shepard, magnified: the desire to do good, exasperation at ignorance, a carefully held-back desire to knock people’s heads together when they’re being stupid …

But my Shepard was not me.  There was something fundamentally not-me about her, and I thought that was one of the reasons I loved her so much: she was me, and not-me, and a powerful woman to whom, in some backwards way, since I ‘made’ her, I could look up.

And then I went to IMC this week [a few weeks ago] (the International Music Camp), where I interned with the drama instructors, and the coordinator described me thusly: “someone who has a wonderful “what more can I do?” attitude.”  I was touched, since I hadn’t felt like I was doing much more than what I considered my job.

I was in my car, listening to “M4 (Part II)”, by Faunts, which plays at the end of the first Mass Effect, and which always gets me thinking about my ME Shepard OTP (which is Shakarian in case you’ve been under a rock :P).  Mass Effect, and Commander Shepard, and all the other characters in this vast amazing universe, often get me thinking about life and its meaning and our place in the universe …

and then those sentences popped into my head.  ”What more can I do?” … and then, “This is my job.”

I realized that those two sentences described my Shepard perfectly. She sees it as her job to do everything in her power to make the universe a better place.  And I sort of feel like that’s my job, too, as an artist and as a human being.

Suddenly I had universes colliding, and I had a moment of mental vertigo. Commander Shepard - my Commander Shepard - was never really meant to be me. But she is me, in a way.  In many ways.

Or, perhaps, she is a woman whom I would like to resemble in some ways as I grow older and mature.

I think we see ourselves in all well-crafted characters, and so I can’t say I’m terribly surprised that I’ve started seeing Shepard in myself, and myself in Shepard.    But the way it happened … was just so … backwards.

Alright, musings over.  (Not really.  There will be/have been more.  Just not here.)

some thoughts on marriage

Preface: I've been in a relationship for just over four and a half years now, and have probably thought about marriage way more than a lot of people do in day-to-day life.  I'm just now starting to puzzle out what marriage means to me, and write a little bit of that down.  You're free to disagree with me, of course.  I think the meaning of marriage can differ depending on your personal situation, your culture/history, etc.  So these are the thoughts of one Caucasian, Canadian, Christian woman nearing the end of her teens.  They may or may not apply to you, and that's okay.

What is marriage, anyway?  A commitment between two people to be the other's partner, companion, friend - a promise to seek to fill the other's needs, directly or indirectly; a promise to guard and protect the other; a promise to love, cherish, adore, and respect the other as an individual - to uphold them with respect and love through any means possible. Marriage is a commitment to be steadfast when the other is weak, to love unconditionally through all the different permutations of love and life, to stand between the other and the world if they need a shield, or to have their back when they take on the world.

Marriage is accepting that it's never going to be perfect, but you want the other at your side, at your back, taking point, through all the imperfections.  Marriage is choosing to put the other first, and trusting that the other has your best interests at heart, and will do the same.  Marriage is trusting the other with every aspect of your life.

Marriage is living with a friend, near or far, physically and mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  Marriage is knowing the other is thinking about you.  Marriage is choosing to take on the world as a pair, rather than alone.

domesticity (or rather, the connotations thereof)

Domesticity is a funny word.  Does it mean powerlessness, or empowerment?  I suppose it depends on your personal bent.  I think it can be either.  For the person who needs to be out and about, domesticity can be deadly to the spirit; for the person who seeks a home ground, a safe haven, a place of their own design, then domesticity can be a godsend.

But don't we all want a home?  I would argue yes, but I would also put forward that home can have many definitions.  Home is where the heart is, after all, and if your heart belongs on the road, or on the sea, then a bungalow with a white picket fence just won't do.

How does one seek their home?  I have always sought escape.  From where, what - life? responsibilities? anxiety? depression? yes.  To where, what? ... Good question.  Isolation.  Art.  Intelligence.  A place where I am unafraid.  That is home - where you are unafraid to express yourself.  

I wonder how many artists are ever truly home, in their heart of hearts, in their soul.  

There is beauty in so many things.  There are no confines to beauty.  On beauty.  Beauty has no limits.  We see beauty differently.  And isn't that terrifying?

applesauce

My man has left for his parents’ house. He will be staying there for the week, while he works the first third of his practicum with a construction company based in that particular town. He will be back here for the weekend. Then he will leave for Winnipeg, and do the same thing. Then he will come back. And then he will leave again, for who knows where. And then he will come back.

And if all goes well, and things work out, he will have a permanent job with this particular company for the next few years while he finishes his apprenticeship. If that goes well, he will become a Red Seal carpenter (if that’s how you say it) and will be able to work anywhere in Canada. (And then he will leave, and build things in various places, and I will stay, and I will sing.)

He walked out the door thirty minutes ago. (For those of you who can’t read between the lines: I miss him like you wouldn’t believe.)

So I’m sitting at his computer, eating applesauce, trying to decide if I’m going to follow him to his parents’ place for the afternoon (a forty-five-minute drive), and spend the next few hours with three raucous children, his very British parents, and his even more British grandmother (who will no doubt ask us very bluntly, but with the best of intentions, when we’re finally planning on getting married), and him.

It’s been an iffy weekend. The chances of my getting a job that will allow me to take time off for my prior commitments (a couple days in May, a week in June, possibly two weeks in August) are looking more and more slim as the days go by. I’ve not been sleeping well. He and I have been snapping at each other more often than not. I spent 90 minutes dancing last night (and I don’t dance), so my legs and feet are killing me (but my heart is thanking me!).

I’m tired and I’d really rather have a nap. But on the other hand, this applesauce, though it cheered me up considerably yesterday (I love applesauce), is simply not doing the trick, and spending Sunday afternoon on my own is more likely going to send me into a spiral of depression than give me any real rest. I have no idea whether spending the afternoon in a house which will possibly be very loud, and will certainly have two dogs in it (I don’t like dogs), will be much better, but there will at least be him …

Does that make up for everything else? Some days it does. Some days I wish he could read my mind. Some days I wish he would go far away (and then come back). But more often than not, as the years go by (four and a half last week), I wish I had him right beside me.

yeah yeah, I know, mushy crap, blah blah.

“You’d think people would have had enough of silly love songs.”

“I look around and see it isn’t so.”

“Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs … “

“Well what’s wrong with that, I’d like to know - ‘cause here I go again … “

Internet-famous

I talked about being famous on the Internet ages ago, here on my blog.  I've been pondering it again lately.

Wil Wheaton discussed, here, some of his thoughts on being Internet-famous.  One of his thoughts particularly struck me:

I’m incredibly grateful that I get to do more with my work than just make things, and when she meets a real celebrity, instead of someone who’s just Internet Famous like I am, I hope they’re awesome to her.

And I have to disagree with him just a little bit.  I think that people who are famous on the Internet are the real celebrities.  This is because they are considerably more real.  There are a handful of people whom I follow on the Internet - Wil Wheaton, Neil Gaiman, Amanda Palmer - who I would certainly consider 'celebrities', but I wouldn't consider them 'fake' celebrities.  

I feel incredibly special when I have a chance to interact with any of these people.  I feel very encouraged by the fact that these people, whom I respect both as people and as artists, take the time to reply to people on Twitter, or take the time to reply in the way Wil did.  

An example from my own life.

Earlier today, I tweeted the following:

pondering how to walk toward the mountain. sometimes @neilhimself is an inspiration, sometimes a bit more "well now what do I do" ...

in response to this:

Just make sure you’re walking towards the mountain, all the time.

I'm currently two years into my undergraduate degree in vocal performance.  I'm trying to find a job for this summer, so I can pay for a place to live.  I've landed an unpaid week-long internship at a drama/improv camp, which is wonderful for me and teaches me LOADS, but the rest of my summer is pretty open.  It's very difficult for me to do 'gigs', per se, because I am a classical singer ... I sing Schubert, Verdi, Britten, Fauré, etc.  I sing big, classical pieces in languages that aren't spoken where I live.  This isn't exactly something that's in huge demand.

What else do I do?  I love to act.  I have no credentials.  I live in a teeny little town.  I love to write.  I should just DO it more often.

/endwhinybit.  Sorry.

So I'm feeling stuck.  I need a job that will fund my studies; I need to walk towards the mountain.

Neil replied to me about an hour ago:

@Kaylotta Nobody said it was easy. But as advice, it might help...

to which I replied:

@neilhimself Sure, never easy. It shouldn't be easy. :) just figuring out how can be a bit of a mindbender.

I've never been under the impression that my life would be easy.  (Some days I would sure like it to be, but hey.)  It just seems to be a big fight to do what I love (classical singing) and still eat.

someday.  someday.

Anyway!  My original point with that was that even though Neil's advice was hard for me to take, as I've been trying to land jobs that really had little to do with what I want to do for a living, I still felt very special that he would take the time - not more than thirty seconds - to reply to me.  Especially when my tweet would have been buried four hours down his timeline!  To my mind, that sort of thing shows an incredible devotion to the people who care about one's art, and that is, I think, one of the best qualities that a 'famous' artist can have, whatever the medium.

This still leaves me in the difficult position of not quite knowing whether I'm taking good steps with my life.  *ponders the mountain*

IMC, day 4

Wednesday started to get crazy.  I spent a lot of time running around, and got inducted into a group as one of the campers had to return home.  I also rehearsed with my pianist, who only seemed to get fast or slow tempi (a bit annoying but she had all of a day to get the piece down), and then performed in the evening.

The performance went rather well.  I did not sing as well as I had in rehearsal (I think I was nervous), but in the recording my running out of breath just sounds like a really, really effective decrescendo/crescendo.  So that was nice.  I got a lot of compliments from the campers, some of whom were just stunned by my vocal ability, which was really touching.  I'm not the best by any means, but open praise from people who admire me is a great boost for me.

I also taught some really simple vocal technique to the kids yesterday - the natural position of the spine, what your diaphragm does, how your head should sit on your shoulders and where your shoulders should hang ... the really, really simple stuff.  Apparently I did a good job, because the kids' vocal production got at least three times better in the space of about half an hour.  Sometimes it's nice to teach ... 

The one-man performance by one of the drama instructors was really interesting.  It was an autobiographical story involving himself, NFL quarterback John Elway, and the instructor's alcoholic father.  It was profound, funny and touching, and I really enjoyed it.  

Ach, I think I have more to write, but I'm forgetting in my haste.  I have work to do before the next session starts at one, and I'm leading that session, and then my boyfriend is coming out to visit ... go go go, Emily, and don't melt in the heat!

IMC, day 3

Today had a bit more movement to it.  

I helped out with image theatre and stage combat, fitting in where the groups were odd-numbered, and I kept order during the rehearsal for the musical number.  I pressed Play often during the Silent Scene rehearsal, and wrote notes during the poetry rehearsal, and planned my warm-ups for Friday.  I went over the warm-ups once, to make sure they were 20 minutes, and I found a pianist for tomorrow night.  

I don't count as faculty here, so I can't perform at the faculty recital, and I didn't bother asking if I could perform at the student talent night (I'm not a camper, it's their place).  The drama instructors think I ought to perform somewhere, so they've asked me to perform tomorrow night when one of the instructors does a one-man show.  So yeah!  I'm singing The Girl in 14G - hopefully I'll be awake and warmed-up enough to hit the high notes in quick succession.  :)  Even if I don't I'm sure they'll think it's good.  I'm feeling pretty confident.

I also helped out a bit with the choosing of the groups for the showcase, and I will be doing sectionals for the musical number to help with simple vocal technique.  I'm looking forward to that, although I'm a bit nervous about it.  I don't want to teach too much, but I don't want to let them go without things that will help them.  Fingers crossed ... 

I am very, very tired, so I think I am going to go to bed early tonight.  Maybe go read for a bit ... 

IMC, day 2

Monday was pretty calm.  Woke up a bit later than I meant to, but it worked out okay.  It turns out that there are more people here at camp who remember me than I thought there would be - there are at least five or six campers who were at camp when I was, which was pretty cool.  A couple of them did a bit of a freak-out when they saw me in the breakfast line, which I found kinda touching.  :)

After breakfast, I met up with the instructors one-by-one, and we all touched base, said hello, nice to see you again, etc.  This morning, I ended up helping out with the stage combat workshop, and then being a tech for a large group activity (I pressed Play, and Stop, in succession).  Good to learn the ropes ... and to find that I haven't forgotten all the stuff I learned when I was here, three/four years ago ... sheesh, I feel kinda old now.  That's weird.

I had lunch with my friends, feeling distinctly at-home in the drama-camp atmosphere (about time I came back here, it feels so good), and then had a short break where I untangled all my necklaces.  The afternoon consisted of helping out with an image theatre workshop (acting with senses and such, exploring the human mind as it relates to the body) and then observing another large group activity.  I then stapled music together, figured out part of the piano accompaniment to said music, and went to dinner.  Dinner is served absurdly early here ... the faculty eats at 4.45, the campers at 5.  It's so that we have one more hour of class/rehearsal before the evening activities, but still, you end up hungry again ...

I had dinner with the faculty (which is really weird after you've been a camper ... not waiting in line?  what?), and then went to the staff lounge (sheesh, it's like I work here or something) to see if I could get some Internet going.  My laptop's wireless card is dead as a doornail, so I have to plug a LAN cable in somewhere.  Luckily I managed it, and it really only depends on whether or not someone is using the communal desktop, which is easily worked around.  So many people here have laptops - there are nine in the room right now, as I type.  It's crazy.  We're all connected, even out here.

I found out, during my brief stint on the Interwebs, that I may have a job lined up for July and August, living with my grandmother a couple hours north of where I am now.  It's probably my best bet for a job right now, as I kind of doubt I will be able to land anything when I go back to Winnipeg at last, but I was given so few details that I don't want to say an unqualified yes.

The final hour of class today was the introduction and learning of the group musical number (the music which I stapled earlier), which went quite well ... not too surprising, as probably 90% of the drama kids already knew it rather well.  It's Seasons of Love, from Rent ("Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes ... " etc).

After that final hour of class, I went back to the faculty lounge (where I sit now) and called my grandmother via Skype (long-distance pay-phone fees are exorbitant) to get more details about this potential job ... and of course she was not there, or did not hear the phone.  I left a message and said I'd call back.  So I will.  Soon.  I'm not exactly looking forward to the reaction of my younger sisters, if I end up getting this job - they will not be impressed that I may not be coming home this summer ...

VISI, day 24/IMC, day 1

Sunday was crazy on several levels.

The airport in the morning was terrible.  I arrived an hour and a half before my flight - cutting it close, but who's flying early on a Sunday morning?  Answer: everyone who takes forever to go through a line.  I waited in lines and got rerouted until 9.10 ... which was ten minutes before my plane was supposed to take off.  During that time, I had to make a frantic phonecall home, as I was going to be stuck if I couldn't pay the fine for my extra bag (which was more than I had originally been told to pay, which was the number I had planned for).  I ran to security, waited another five minutes, and then of course had my bag searched, because it was full of electronics.  I bolted to the gate.  They'd held it over for me.  I boarded the plane a few minutes after it was supposed to take off, and of course I happened to be sitting in a wing seat, so they had to take a minute to explain the emergency exit procedure, and then we finally took off.

The flight was uneventful, apart from the very friendly Japanese man beside me who thought that everything in the movie he was watching was hilarious, and therefore never stopped laughing or sighing or making little noises of approval ... you know.  Which is fine.  In moderation.  He never stopped.  I had my headphones on most of the way, but it was still a bit of a sticking point ...

Upon arriving in Winnipeg and greeting my family (and friends who had come), I was informed that my luggage had not made it onto the plane that I had boarded, and was coming on the next flight from Vancouver.  Sigh.  I decided to wait, rather than have it shipped to me out at the border, so we waited until six ... and then left Winnipeg at seven ... for a three-hour drive.  My boyfriend had agreed to take me out to the camp I was working at for this week, so that we'd have time to talk - that way, my parents didn't have to pile the kids into the car for a six-hour drive, nor did they have to use extra vehicles ... it worked out.  Also, my boyfriend lives relatively close to the camp (closer than my parents anyway), so there's that, too.

On the drive, he and I had a two-hour conversation about the ethics, philosophy and theory of artificial intelligence - from a purely theoretical, mostly non-scientific standpoint, since neither of us are experts in the actual scientific field.  Ethics made up a large part of the conversation - questions about the ethics involved, questions about human-AI interaction, and so on and so forth.  Not many answers to the questions, but plenty to think about.  Lots of hypotheticals thrown around, and many references to various science-fiction scenarios, ranging from the inimitable Asimov all the way to Mass Effect, Halo and Portal.  Fascinating, fascinating stuff.

Upon reaching the camp, I checked in at the main office and found my little room.  I unpacked as quickly as possible, as my roommate was rather tired, and went to bed.  I'm rooming with the creative writing intern.  She's far more qualified than I am.  XD  Oh well.

VISI, day 23

The final day of the fun ... 

I went for a short shopping excursion this morning, to find two more gifts as well as a baggage scale.  My time is very short tomorrow morning, and I do not want to spend unnecessary time repacking bags ...  My shopping was successful, and I returned home to pack.  The morning was very, very rainy, and so my hopes of going to the beach one last time were dashed ... 

... except that when I got home, the sun came out.  I rethought my schedule, and decided I had time to go to the beach.  Off I went - so quickly that I forgot my sunscreen.  Oops.  Upon arriving at the beach (the third one I chose, and the nicest), I went and walked in the water a bit.  I didn't really want to go swimming, and then try to get the seaweed out of my hair, so I just walked.  It was rather cold, and the sky had clouded over again.  I went back, leaned against a log, and read for half an hour; at that point, the sun came out, and I just lay in the sun for another half hour.  I then bussed back, did a little bit of packing, and hurried off to the music building to run through staging ... 

... only to find that they were an hour behind!  I decided to go have a shower, which I had meant to do earlier, but when I returned an hour later, I only just got there in time to rehearse my song.  Luckily it went quite well and no one seemed particularly annoyed that I hadn't shown up in time.  Oops again ... 

I stayed in my gown to make dinner, and then eat it, and then do my hair and makeup.  It's a bit of a hassle to get into, so I didn't want to have to do so again ...   The gala was wonderful.  Rather long - three and a half hours - but every minute was packed with interesting interpretation and excellent acting.  The first act was the first half of our art songs; the second act was a short staged production by several of the students in a parallel program to my own; and the third act was the second half of the art songs.  Almost all of the songs were staged (only three or four were performed in recital fashion), and they were all brilliantly conceived.  Some were hilarious, some were heartbreaking, some were somewhat disturbing ... and all were so very artistic.  :)  We had drunk men, cocktail lounge singers, marionette masters, blind women, amorous pining from both sexes, and then little moments like reminiscing about one's grandmother ... yes, that was me.

Now, after the gala, everyone else has gone off to party, and I, alas, am not old enough ... besides, I still need to finish packing.  So here I am.  Packing.  ... blogging.

VISI, day 22

Yesterday was not terribly eventful.   I thought about going shopping in the morning, but decided the schedule would be too rushed, so I stayed home and packed a bit.

Concert of French and Quebecois song at one; quite good.  Coaching at two; not bad either.  Lost my pencil, commented on it, used one of the pianist's pencils, not a problem.  A loss of a pencil is not important.

Went home, packed more, made supper.  The concert yesterday evening was a presentation of art song theatre: a performance of Songs from Spoon River, where long-dead residents of a small town talk about their lives; and a performance of That Way Goes the Game, a hilarious romp through Shakespeare where a graduate student comes to understand women by having to deal with Katherine, Lady Macbeth and Ophelia over the course of a night.  Both performances were very well done, and That Way Goes the Game was absolutely gut-busting, using Shakespearean langauge alongside modern English in ways that were really very funny.  (For instance, after Lady Macbeth pours out her soul in a re-enactment of the night of Duncan's murder, and is being comforted in her grief and guilt by Ophelia, the graduate student announces, "That is some messed-up shit."  Ba ha ha ha ha ... )

After the concert, I scurried back to the dorms, and spent an hour listening to Portal 2 quotes before falling asleep.  Yes, this was a silly idea, but it caught my brain ...  

VISI, day 21

Yesterday was mostly fun.  After breakfast, I hopped on a bus and went to Granville Island, where I spent the morning shopping ... or, well, looking.  It's a beautiful place - a bit like the Forks in Winnipeg, but several times larger.  It's that lovely little oasis of foliage in a metropolis.  :)  

I wandered around several craft stores, contemplating the best gifts to buy for my family - and having a heck of a time, actually.  It would be much easier if I were 19 - I'd just buy some BC-specific brews and bring them home to Mom and Dad.  Alas, I am two months short ... 

I ended up deciding that I needed to go back home and think about things, and besides there was a student marketplace on-campus that day and I knew there were some things there that I could get for my siblings.  I had gotten something for my brother, and wandered around an umbrella shop (I found the perfect umbrella.  unfortunately, it costs $65), and had eaten a marvelous crêpe with pears and brown sugar for lunch ... so I declared the morning a relative success, and headed home.  

Warning: rant ahead.

I knew there were some shops along the street where I would need to get a bus, so when I saw that the next one wasn't due for another fifteen minutes, I decided to walk a bit and see what I could see.  That turned out to be somewhat of a mistake.  About two or three blocks in, I was stopped by a perfectly friendly young man, probably in his early or mid-twenties, who asked what I was listening to, and then started a conversation with me about the charity he was working for.  I listened politely, as I was indeed interested, and he was friendly - but when it became clear that they were looking for monthly donations, I had to find a way to demur and politely refuse ... not because I wouldn't want to, but because I don't have the means.  

Unfortunately, he was rather insistent.  He wanted my banking details, and when I said I didn't have them (which was true), he said he could call them on his smartphone, he'd pass the phone to me and I could negotiate the transfer.  At this point I was rather turned off.  I asked if I could take a form home with me, and he said they didn't want them to get spread around for fear of being copied (which I don't quite understand); I asked if there were a website on which I could sign up, and he said no, it had to be now.  At this point I apologized, said I really had to catch a bus, and asked if there were a number I could call.  He said no, but he could take my number and call me back.  

Really, dude?  Sigh.  I gave him my name and number.  I caught the bus.  I went home.

Once home, I Googled the charity, and it turns out that it is indeed quite easy to sign up online for monthly donations, or, if you'd rather, to give a one-time gift.  I had already planned not to answer his call, but now I want to answer even less.  If he'd given me the option of signing up to a mailing list or even just given me the website, I would have considered it - but his attitude was frustrating and rather rude, so, no thank you.  

Rant over.  

Upon returning to UBC, I went to the student marketplace and bought souvenirs for my sisters, and then came home to have a nap.  I had been out from 9.30 and it was now 2.30.  I was quite tired, so I slept a bit, and then went off to my coaching with Erika Switzer at 4.00.  This was quite good - she helped me figure out this whole "find meaning in the words" thing, and she worked with us on diction and direction and things like that.  We were all very, very tired ... 

I went back to the dorms and made dinner, then got a little bit dressed up and went back to the music building, for something called "The Concert of Your Wildest Dreams".  This is one of the director's ideas - after three weeks of being nitpicked, nagged, directed, corrected ... you get to perform in a concert where everything you do is absolutely amazing.  The audience is allowed and encouraged to comment on bits of the performance that they find amazing - while you are performing.  Now this might sound distracting, and on occasion it was, but most of the time it was extraordinarily encouraging.  There's nothing quite like hearing, "Schubert would be proud," as you perform one of his Lieder.  It's this incredible reassurance of self and of purpose, and it's so very freeing.  

We had some hilarious performances, too - once people kinda got into the feel of "anything goes as long as you're having fun", we really opened up.  Some of the performances had us just about falling off our chairs laughing - some of the performances had us nearly in tears.  And no one was allowed to stop clapping until the performers actually told us to stop - jump to your feet and applaud and applaud and applaud!  It's so empowering, both for audience and for performer.  You really get to discover the creativity within yourself, and to see everyone else's creativity, as well.  It makes you very, very happy.

After the concert, I talked with the director briefly about her travels to Rwanda, and about mine a little bit, and she gave me some leads as to who I could contact to return as a musician, and really use my talents and gifts to help the people I care about so much.  That was a nice little conversation.

I walked back with a bunch of VISIers, and even though they were all heading off to party and enjoy themselves (where I, alas, would not be allowed to enter), we had fun walking together.  It spiralled, as these things do, into Monty Python quotes and random singing of art song and just being goofy in general, and I felt the closest I have to these people in three weeks.  (I'm strange, right?)  I broke off from the group and went home, warmed up some food, and relaxed a bit before bed.  

Today, I was planning on heading to a Sears outlet and buying a baggage scale (you know, the little thing you clip onto your bag and then lift to find out how heavy the bag is), but it turns out the nearest one is downtown - so I'm going to do that tomorrow, when I have more free time, and when I will go back to Granville Island.  I don't have to be anywhere until four tomorrow, and while of course I have to be home earlier than that in order to get ready and warm up and things like that, I have more thought-time to travel downtown, get the baggage scale, bus back a bit to go to Granville Island, pick up the things I want, and head back home.  It's just a more relaxed schedule.  

If the sky clears, I might walk to the beach - but to a beach with sand this time, so it's a longer walk than Wednesday, so I might do that tomorrow, too.  I'd actually like to go in the water (I haven't yet), so I'd have to have a shower when I get back, which is another variable to consider in timing ... I don't know.  We'll see! Right now I'm going to do some preliminary planning of packing.

VISI, day 20

The second half of today was uneventful.  I went to the beach - a closer beach than the one I went to the first time - but it had no sand, really, just a bunch of rocks.  I moved some rocks around so that I had a relatively smooth place to sit and lean back, and I read for an hour and a half or so.  Very, very quiet - next to no one around.  Steep incline from the main city, quiet waves.  A Wednesday afternoon - the only people at the beach are the ones trying to relax.  :)

I then went home, made some dinner, and hung out on the Internet for a bit before bussing to a concert about 20 minutes away - a lovely miscellany of art song, rounded out with a second act consisting of Ralph Vaughan Williams' Songs of Travel, a cycle I had never heard all the way through.  I quite like it.  

And then we all bussed back to UBC, and hilarity ensued as several of my VISI-mates began reading the program of the night's concert in a sort of tone-imbued English, substituting alternate phonetic pronunciations of consonants, creating diphthongs or taking them out (or, goodness, triphthongs), speaking in a very singsong fashion (hence the choice of the term "tone-imbued"), and just generally mangling the language so that it sounded nothing like English at all.  It was incredibly funny, and some of them were really very good at doing it on the spot.  

Now I am home, and snacking on cereal while getting ready for bed.  G'night world ... tomorrow I shop.

VISI, day 19

Yesterday was a day full of movement.  Performance psychology first thing, then the final lecture (about Paul Verlaine's poetry - interesting, but got a bit dull and repetitive - I left a little bit early), then lunch, then a coaching ... 

and then the adventures started!  We all bussed downtown to attend a concert in an office building - June 21st is the Fête de la Musique in France, and Vancouver is trying to start its own tradition.  There was music everywhere, of all kinds.  It was very neat!  The concert was all French music, very traditional, very pretty.

A smaller group of us went to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory, which was very yummy, and then we walked over to the Orpheum Annex theatre, where the VISI faculty was going to give another concert of French music.

It started with very traditional French mélodie and chanson, but then got very funny.  Real French humour!  It was roll-in-the-aisles hilarious, with spoken-word song, immense amounts of wordplay (I'm so glad I speak French), little pokes at composer styles by setting words from a Raisin Bran box to music ... and then an absolutely hilarious performance of Erik Satie's Je te veux - performed, eventually, by everyone who had sung!  The program was written as if one soprano was going to sing it, which is the traditional way of performing the song, but the two very French baritones took over and started singing to her (which is very funny because the song is from the perspective of a mistress talking to her lover) ... and then she replied ... and then it just got insane because everyone started singing.  

It was truly the best concert I'd been to in a long time.  Finally, a concert proclaiming that the French repertoire is not boring, is not old, is not passé - but that the French themselves are hilarious, love poking fun at themselves and their history, and aren't offended by it!  It was glorious - like a return to high school, in a very good way.  

Bussed home, talked to my boyfriend for a bit (which was nice), and then went to bed ... 

So far today, I have discovered which muscles I am overusing to create a posture that isn't even right, and I have been enlightened as to the interpretation of Duparc's L'invitation au voyage.  Now I am eating lunch, and then I will go to a concert, and then the beach, and then shopping, and then another concert!