VISI, day 3

I am having a particularly difficult evening, in spite of the fact that the day was quite good, so I don't know how this is going to go ... 

This morning was fine.  Breakfast, then I bussed to a church I picked that was nearby and enjoyed a wonderful service.  I will definitely be going back next week; very welcoming atmosphere and an intellectual, challenging and profound sermon.  

I then went back to the university and met with my pianist for the first time: we practiced for half an hour and I think we will work well together.  I am definitely less experienced than she is, but that is alright ... we are all learning.

After practicing, I attended the VISI opening session.  After a brief presentation from the performance psychologist attending the conference, the artistic director talked about the philosophy behind art song theatre, which is, in short, turning the very cerebral performance form of art song into ... theatre.  Basically, you take away the old traditions of standing very primly and singing from the piano, and turn it into the real story that it was likely meant to be in the first place.  

The second lecture of the day was on collaboration and the fact that it is really an art.  Some interesting insights on technique and artistic interpretation, but not much to detail here.  After this, we did half an hour of icebreaker games, highlighting the difference between competition and collaboration.  This was a lot of fun.

The final lecture of the day was very thought-provoking.  It was delivered by Max Wyman, author of The Defiant Imagination: Why Culture Matters.  You should definitely go read this book.  Just Google it.  He discussed how the imagination is really the centre of the whole human experience, and as a result of this, so too should our societies be.  Alas, this is not the case.  It was slightly odd to have one's soul explained so concisely and clearly - a bit off-putting, to tell the truth.  I was not unhappy when I left the lecture hall, but I was slightly off-kilter.  I still have not managed to get back into kilter, if that's even a valid term.

I went back to my room and ate some supper, and pondered.  My ponderings have led me, for the moment, into a very dark place of not knowing what path is best to take right now, and who can join me on it, and why some may and some may not, and what kind of person I need as a companion, and whether to not it is a good idea for others to be such, for me, in the first place.  In so pondering, I have hurt someone very close to me ... and so now, I am very dark.

I hope the morning sun will bring more happiness.

In related news, I am feeling like I cannot limit myself to one art form.  Perhaps that will make me happy.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that I will never, ever feel complete.  And that bothers me to no end.